The Source of Strength

After her first pregnancy, this is our second photo shoot experience with Yuli Maria and her family. When we capture her 2nd pregnancy photo shoot, as always we’re amazed by Yuli Maria’s props, dress and even her details concept ideas. We’re a big fan of all her masterpiece as an amazing food stylist. And Yuli is a very people person, together with her husband and daughter, Jojo… they draw our heart so close to theirs and inspire us to capture these beautiful emotion and moments of this wonderful family.

It’s truly an honor to have Yuli Maria sharing her honest experience with us here. Hope it would be a blessing and encouragement to many woman and mothers out there :)

Words from Yuli Maria :
It’s been more than a month.
Nausea, vomiting at least 1 or 2 times a day is like a ritual for me. Toilet bowl or plastic trash bag been my best friend this past 1.5 months. Because I hugged and held them a lot *smirk*
I will understand if it’s my first semester of pregnancy. Well, I experienced heavy vomiting and disastrous nausea for 4.5 months in that early semester, tho). But this is my last semester and all the symptoms just happily came back and stay with me  : (

And it’s getting worse, because my belly and body are getting bigger. Almost fainted couple times, difficulty in breathing, very difficult to stand or sit too long, cold sweat dripping here and there, constipation and insomnia because I have to changed sleeping position to feel comfortable and oh, how I hate the crowds so much! Every time I experienced pregnancy, I don’t know, I’m totally not myself. The second one is worse than the first one. I complained and bragged a lot about this. Every time people said to enjoy my pregnancy, am sorry to say that I can’t.
Believe it or not, I never envied someone else’s life because I’m so content and happy with my life and what I have. But now I can say I envied women that never experienced morning sickness and things like what I experienced in my pregnancy. Even my mom didn’t experienced it, maybe that’s one of the reason she has 6 children : ) Trust me, you’re blessed if you don’t experienced all of these. I think all I do every day is only counting when I will deliver the baby : (

I sounds like a pathetic and in desperation, which I had to confess I did. Since no one can understand my pain and feeling, many times I only can turn to God and cry out for His help, His comfort. Until now, I haven’t received it yet. It’s getting more awful. I’m not melancholy type of woman that easy to cry or give up, but I did the opposite lately.

About 2 weeks ago Jojo got sick. High fever and coughing. The pediatrician said she may be she has pneunomia or athsma. Jojo, my happy go lucky baby turned to be a nightmare for both Edy and me, she cried and whined nonstop, even at her sleep, which made Edy and me become zombie for one full week. Edy didn’t sleep at all for straight 3 days, because he took care Jojo at nite and she kept crying.

Usually if Jojo is sick and still active or can sleep at night, I won’t pay much attention. It’s just a phase of life. But this one is serious stuff. Well, there’s always a first time for everything. She didn’t want to eat nor drink, always wanted to be carried, which Edy or my helper did and we can see she’s in pain every time she cough. For all the parents with sick baby/toddler, I know you can relate and understand the feeling.
We had to put her in nebulizer 3 times a day. I felt so devastated, because I can’t help much with my own condition. Am blessed with a caring and hands on husband, he sacrificed a lot during this ‘suffering’ time. He’s already very busy at the office, yet every time he went home, he still has to take care of me and Jojo. God, how I’m grateful for him!

When I tried to give food to Jojo, which she refused, I can see her empty eyes and no smile. I cried and cried in front of her, feeling guilty I can’t help much to comfort her and asking God to heal her. Jojo saw me crying and asked me, “Mommy, are you ok?! Are you ok?! Please don’t cry..” which made cry even more. I think she’s tougher than me.

Jojo is much better and does the activity like usual now. Run here and there laughing, teasing me or her Daddy, saying the funny and silly stuffs, exploring and curious about things really made my stress level went down at least 6 bars : ) I promise myself, I will gain back all the stamina and strength by end of this year so that I can play, jump and run with Jojo and her sister. So I can spend time more without pain and had to catch my heavy breath every time I play with them. It’s my ultimate and priority goal for myself.

Indeed it’s really my self pity and selfish moment. I don’t care about the surrounding, all I want it’s finished soon, I can’t enjoy my journey. Sounds familiar? : ) Yes, because all of us experience our own ‘suffering’ in different ways and shapes. Nobody likes this period. Except not taking health for granted, I had an amazing husband and beautiful daughter to be enjoyed, this ‘suffering’ isn’t permanent (2 months to go!) and I will meet another cute princess soon and maybe forget about all these as soon as I see her, I still not clear what else God wants me to learn about this moment. Maybe someday I will, but one thing for sure, I hang on and depend on Him so much right now.

When I cried to Him at night, this chorus playing in my head while my tears flowing down to my cheeks, only Him that can comfort and strengthen me:
I just want You, Jesus
I just want You, my Lord
I just want You, Jesus
I just want You…*
*(Planetshakers ‘I Just Want You’ song)
” I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Phil 4:13

Just want to thank you d’ZIGN for you and team that patiently took my 2nd pregnancy pics. Lydia and team made all my almost fainted, exhausted face, uncomfortable moment looking so fabulous. They freezes the best moments to cherish and share to my babies in the future. I can’t thank you enough for them : ) Looking fwd for my baby pics and 6 months old baby pics with you all next time!
Yuli Maria 

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d'ZIGN for you is an international professional multimedia production team based in Singapore, Paris, Indonesia and Australia. Dedicated to enhance, celebrate, glamorize, eternalize and unravel precious moments through our eye towards beauty, fun, pleasure and emotion to capture heartprint beyond imagination.

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